Tues 13 Dec 2005

Traffic boxes in Saskatoon have been painted in order to beautify the city. For those not familiar with Joni Mitchell (and if you’ve been visiting my journal for any length of time, how could you not be?), Our Joan is depicted as playing her dulcimer on the bank of the South Saskatchewan River, which flows through Saskatoon.

Mon 12 Dec 2005
8:29am

If Everett is otherwise occupied when it's time to give Emil a dose of Nyquil before bed, he begs me to wait until he can watch. He hates to miss the facial contortions.

Emil came home from school tired on Friday and laid down immediately. "Are you not feeling well?" I'd asked, and he'd insisted that he felt fine, was just taking a short rest.

Though he's had a good appetite, he's spent the entire weekend extremely stuffed up and mostly in bed. The Nyquil was to help him sleep; I thought without it he might spend the kind of nights I have, lately — fevered, restless. I don't like giving him any kind of medication but can't just leave him feeling that crappy.

Doctors haven't been able to explain why he seems to get so many colds and such intense ones. They have no suggestions. He eats well — lots of fruit, whole grains, unprocessed homemade food, organic, very little junk food on the whole — and has a regular schedule which probably, come to think of it, doesn't really give him enough sleep. Aside from that, the only advice we've had was to have him supplement with cod liver oil and Vitamin A. Been doing that since the spring. His immune system should be strong, and yet ... I've already stopped counting the colds he's had this fall.

He is being referred to a respirologist now. In the meantime, maybe I can figure out a way to get him more sleep. It will mean having him do fewer of the things he normally does in the evenings, but it's doable. I could make his school lunch, for instance, and that would get him to bed earlier. Yeah, maybe we'll start there. There's really nothing else that can be eliminated from his weekday routine. He still has to bath, which takes a good hour; then he's got his physio to do for a half-hour, and his Listening Program, which is only 15 minutes. And we can get serious (again) about limiting his time at the supper table to one hour. Frankly, he is the slowest person I have ever seen, and just getting up from a chair can take a molasses minute.

Nights can seem long.

Princess and Pea

Mom made and gave it to me years ago, then tried to get me to throw it out every time she saw it. As if! I told her, but she would try anyway. "I'll make you something nicer," she'd say. It must have been done in early quilting days so that she was embarassed by her sewing or something. Silly. I wouldn't part with it.

Sat 10 Dec 2005

Three people in this household are tired, chilled, stuffed up, feverish and/or achey.

Friday 9 Dec 2005
3:21pm

“Are you depressed?” he says to me.

I don’t know. Am I? I've hardly been outside for days (until just now, when the snow melting off the roof told me this balmy weather is not to be ignored after a week between 10 and 20 below), I’ve been sleepy and lacklustre, accomplishing little or nothing.

I lay in the bathtub, think of Mom, dip my hair back into the warm water, cry for a few moments, think of something else, the tears stop.

Last night I went to bed early with a fever and a sinus clog, and slept soundly till the fire was out and the bedroom got cold and woke me. I turned my side of the electric blanket (thanks Mom!) on and shivered while it warmed up, turned it up another notch, shivered and hugged myself, turned it up another notch, shivered and snuggled up to the warm body beside me, turned it up again, and finally one more time before I was warm enough to relax. Then do you think I could sleep? At six I went to the kitchen to eat a plain piece of bread, then was able to sleep till eight when the boys called me up for their goodbye kisses.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and checked email, then turned the computer off and went into the boys’ room, grabbing Everett’s pillow from his bed, tossing it at the foot of Emil’s, and climbing in under the covers. There I slept till two o’clock, except for half a dozen phone calls. I’d taken an Indocid at 11 and felt better when I was awakened by Scott walking into the bedroom, scaring the bejesus out of me.

“Couldn’t you make some noise?” I said, “so I know you’re coming?”

Wed 7 Dec 2005
10:07 a.m.

The first blue sky we’ve had in days. It’s definitely winter; the plugging-in of vehicles has begun. My ski pants need to be dug out. Not that I am any closer to owning a pair of cross-country skis ... I’ve done nothing in that direction ... cannot even remember when I last went out for a walk. Seems I’ve been busy indoors or running here and there... a Christmas party, a birthday party, that trip to the city last week ....

~ waiting patiently for doctor ~

Emil’s visit to the orthopedic clinic was his last one. After this, he will attend adult clinics and only if there is a need, not for regular checkups. According to his hip and foot x-rays, he has finished growing. “What you see now is what you’re going to get,” the orthopedic surgeon said. His left foot sticks out rather sideways, but “it’s working for him” so she thought it should be left alone. No surgery required this year, and not since he was six. Probably never again.

For three hours before we left the city, he pushed our cart around the mall, needing to sit and rest only a few short times while I got some Christmas shopping done. Along the highway we stopped for a bucket of KFC to bring home for supper. He told me several times throughout the two days we were away that he likes it when “just you and me” go places.

~ about halfway home from Saskatoon ~

The next thing to deal with is his legal coming-of-age. When he turns 18 in June, my guardianship needs to be extended beyond his childhood years. A doctor sent me home with a thick pile of Saskatchewan statutes to read so I will know what’s going on and what to do to get it all in order.

For today, that gentle blue sky is calling me out.

~ horse pasture in Saskatchewan ~

~ the view from computer chair ~

-it's -12F at 3:11pm Mon 5 Dec 2005
-now playing: Dennis Lakusta, Journeyman
-to do: dishes, architecture editing, walk, fire, laundry, supper
-so what am i doing here?

~ the deck gets its roof ~
~ mmm, Toolbelt's looking good ~

An angel food cake is in the oven. We're off to Grandma's to celebrate her 89th birthday, which is this coming Wednesday.


~ Everett can't stop dancing to madagascar soundtrack ~

He opened the CD on his birthday and immediately he and the other kids, age 5 and 8, started dancing and singing one of the songs. Seemed to know the whole thing and love it.

~ Everett's summer-day project ~

Now he's going through the local Lutheran Ladies cookbook Grandma gave me in 1981. He is thrilled to recognize and be related to many of the contributors. I've just told him he can have the recipe book one day. If it hasn't fallen apart by then; well used.

I have been sorting through some of Aunt Jean's personal effects, figuring out what to do with everything. It is sobering, but also pleasant to be reminded of Aunt Jean and family times as I look at pictures and hold small items in my hands. My great-grandmother kept a scrapbook; in it she glued floral cardboard cutouts and newspaper clippings from the 1930s. When I looked at the book in years past I thought the clippings were poems; yesterday I looked more closely and saw that they were the words to songs. She must have loved singing. Will have to ask Grandma what she remembers about her "Mother," as she always calls her.

There's the timer.

xoxo
etc

~ good catch! ~

Wed 30 Nov 2005
8:56 a.m.

I’ve been reading a novel called Claire’s Head, by Catherine Bush. It’s about two sisters who suffer intense and frequent migraines, and how they live with them. One sister is a journalist chasing down possible cures. She ends up missing, and the other sister goes searching for her. There is a lot of interesting information about migraine symptoms and causes as well as treatments and the occasional miracle cure. One such was effected by waltzing. Gotta love that one! It's the one I'd like to try.

This little dog has been a perfect companion for me since my arrival home at the end of June. She keeps me smiling with her puppy antics. Chasing her tail remains an apparently addictive activity; it seems that sometimes she can’t help herself. It’s there, it must be caught.

~ taken this summer ~

Then, she spends many long minutes pushing empty plastic pails around the yard at full speed. They are undoubtedly her favourite toy. We are only amazed that with her head inside one of these, she hasn’t yet run into a tree.

And she is so graceful at times. It's a delight to watch her leaping high and bounding far, like she's spring-loaded.

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Off to the city for the night. Emil’s got an orthopedic clinic that will take up the best part of the day; then we’ll sup and spend the night with my cousin, and head home in the morning after a couple stops for things we can’t get out here. Like the Fair Trade coffee we buy, and the camera-card developing. And Cathy's good company.

I'm all ready to go. Now it's a matter of waiting for Emil, who is out in the porch, to get his shoes and jacket on.