Tuesday, 12. April 2005
Poor Lad, No Friends

Tuesday 12 April 2005
9:42 a.m.

The excitement around our house after school yesterday was the mated pair of mallard ducks that landed on the driveway to share the birdseed we put out for a resident flock of quail.

Everett took the camera and tried to approach them, with Trinket sticking close to his side.

He was out of sorts last night before going to bed.
"I wish someone would just kill me," he said. "I'm boring."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know things to do."

He'd been at Joan's for the day as a playmate for Trinket on her birthday, and Joan had asked him several times what he'd like to do. He didn't know, so he thought he must be boring.

I assured him that just because he is content hanging out at home doesn't mean he is boring. Not sure he believed me. I asked what they did, then. "We went to the mall, shopping," he complained.

"I bet that was boring," I said.

"That's for sure."

"What did you guys buy?" I asked.

"Purple shoes for Jordan."

"What else? I know Joan, she bought you something at the mall."

"We had ice cream."

"I knew you wouldn't get away without a treat. You have generous aunties, don't you."

"Yep." He half-shrugged, as if that's a given.

This morning he was not looking forward to going to school. He wished he was homeschooling again.

"I wish you were too," I told him on the 8:30 a.m. drive to classes. "I liked having you around all day. But you have to finish out the year now that you're almost through it."

"Awwww!"

"Take advantage! You've got teachers and a library and kids around ... you have none of that when you're at home all day."

"I don't have any friends."

"Why not?"

"The one kid I liked got expelled."

"What for?"

"He was violent and wouldn't listen."

"And he's the one you liked, out of all the kids?"

"Yeah. We got along."

"What about the other kids? None that you like?"

"No."

I wasn't stumped for long. "So why do you want them to be friends of yours, then?"

He hadn't thought of that, apparently. I added, "Maybe instead of wanting to have friends, you need to focus on being a friend." He looked perplexed. "You know, think of something nice to say or do for someone, even if it isn't a kid you consider a friend. Be kind to somebody. Act friendly."

He was thinking that over as he got out of the van and reached back in for his bookbag.

"I'm getting out your five-good-things journal, so be prepared to write in it after school."

"Awwwww!"

"Keep your eye out for five good things that happen today."

Reluctantly, scowling: "Oh ... kay ...."

"Have a jim-dikkety-dandy day," was my last goodbye. He gave me a look, and I watched him pick his way across the parking lot, carefully, as there is so much parent traffic that it's a dangerous place.

Now, off to Mom and Dad's till pickup time at 3:15.

... Link


 
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