“If you don’t believe in miracles
You could be taking bad advice.”

- Roy Forbes, Tender Lullaby

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It’s still unseasonably cold here in Saskatchewan’s parkland, although Grandma says it’s really normal, it’s just that we haven’t had “normal” weather for the past three or four years.

That’s slightly comforting — any return to the weather of the past.

I haven’t been outdoors enough lately and am beginning to feel lethargic, almost down. Tsk. I know better. Even a short sojourn into fresh air and natural daylight is spirit-lifting.

When I got up this morning, Barney was laying under a quilt on the couch.

“What are you doing?” I asked, and he said “Waiting for you; I want to snuggle with you.” He sat up and I climbed under the quilt, put my arm around his shoulders, and felt once again how precious he is to me.

I don’t focus on him or Don enough. I am always busy at some task, whatever it be, and deal with them as ‘asides.’ This is so foolish of me, and I know it.

My habits are hard to break. Everything is more interesting than they are. [TSK]

I sat there by Barney, kissed the top of his head.
He talked about something he was doing on the computer earlier this morning, and I tuned out. Just as I do when he tells me what happened in a movie or how one of his playstation games played out. Just as I do when Don repeats sentences too many times.

Yet this is what interests them, what they want to talk about.

I can’t seem to get to that level and stay there.

*These children are hugged and kissed often.*

In a home video taken when Don was a year old, he sits at the kitchen table and I walk back and forth behind him, doing something at the counter. I never walk past him without putting my hand out and touching him gently. This is a loved child.

Now if only I could find something in common with them more than reminding them to get their school lunches made and brush their teeth.

Taking those little moments with them, to give a hug or a kiss: I do that. But I don't want to forget that since they matter more to me than anything, I'd best take full advantage of having them with me right now.

Right this minute.

xoxo
etc