Saturday

I have been dozing for quite a long time, listening to the radio after the alarm went at six, slipping in and out of dreams.

I snuggle up beside Loverboy and put my arm across his chest, noticing how wide his chest is, how large and solid it feels under my arm, and contrast that with how small my upper body must feel in his arms, how narrow my chest and back in comparison to his.

Women’s arousal is not the same as men’s. Men are immediately aware when they are aroused, whereas women can be stimulated and not even know it. It’s true -- this has been studied. Women’s physical arousal has been monitored. It was found that even though a woman’s vital signs and genital lubrication demonstrated sexual arousal, she would often be unaware of it. This makes sense to me. Our bodies can be there -- or halfway there -- but our minds may not be, and until the whole spirit catches up, something essential is missing. Whatever that essential something is, it’s the key.

Winter’s almost over already, and we’ve hardly had any. The last couple days have been a thaw, with mild springlike weather.

This morning my sister Jill picked me up and we went to town. We both had some banking to do, then went out for lunch with Loverboy and Barney, who’d horked on the sidewalk when he got off the bus. I’d suggested he take his Gameboy with him to play on the trip in to school, and he probably got motion sickness. I’d forgotten he’s prone to that if he reads in a moving vehicle.

Then it was off to an organic farm up north to pick up produce for us and seven other families. Loverboy came with me and we drove through foggy fields, holding hands and listening to Stephen Hawking’s Brief History of Time. Interesting stuff.

Back here later, we went to Ma’s and she and I spent the afternoon sorting, weighing and pricing everyone’s groceries.

I’m beat. I’ve spent two hours on the road (enjoyable though it was), carried boxes of groceries back and forth between buildings and vehicles, and continued steadily until 6:30. I’m tired, and I’m thinking about ways to spend a little less time doing this.