Thursday, 2. December 2004
Letter to Cathy


~ Dad and his Aunt Hazel, who visited on the weekend ~

Wednesday, Dec. 1, 2004
7:15 p.m.

Cath,

What are the portions for mixing keri lotion with olive oil for a good massage? I did it at home but now want to mix some here so I can give Mom a good rubdown from time to time, and I don't remember how much of each. Please let me know a.s.a.p.; I want to be ready whenever there is a window of opportunity. Mom doesn't often feel up to it, but I'd like to give her a full body massage when she does.

It sure doesn't feel as if things are looking up. The tumours are going the right way, but Mom's been feeling shitty for a month now and there isn't any improvement there. There is no bowel obstruction, so at least that's ruled out; tomorrow night they are giving her brain a c.t. scan just to make sure there isn't metastasis there. No one can figure out where the abdominal pain and nausea are coming from. Maybe the tumour is pressing on a nerve.

I have decided to go over every morning, so Dad can know when he's free to go out on a regular basis and for my own peace of mind. I realized last night that I want to be there every day if I can, though there isn't much one can do. Mom isn't up to visiting or enjoying company most of the time, and wants to be alone to sleep, but skipping a day now just feels somehow wrong.

I was afraid of being intrusive by being there too often, and told Dad so, but he said no, come if I want to. Maybe he doesn't find me too hard to talk to about what's on his mind these days, and it can't hurt for him to share the responsibilities a little bit more than he does, or at least have the same person there for a while every day so that person is part of the flow and knows what's going on. He is busy giving Mom needles for pain and nausea, and calling nurses, and getting drugs, and setting up appointments, and everything else. He's doing a really great job of taking care of her, but it's a big job and has to get overwhelming eventually.

Joan and I pinched perogies this afternoon, the leftover filling that didn't get used on the weekend, and she and Karen went shopping after Karen got off work. I came home, hadn't seen my boys all day and have to work at the computer tonight for as many hours as I can. Don't know what I'd shop for anyway, don't have a list made for Xmas yet.

Cait will be what ... 14 this year? Kee-Rist. What colour is her hair this week?

xoxo
Kathy

 
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