9:23 a.m.

Strange mood.

There is this hard, metal urge to sweep through the clutter in the house and put it all in shiny-edged order.

It’s as if a ball of determined, this-must-be-done colour has appeared between my belly button and my rib cage.

Maybe my fucked-up feng shui limit has been breached.
I want organization and neatness, dammit!

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One of the young cats froze to death on the step over at South Forks. Why? There was a barn, the cat had been there, been fed there, knew it had only to walk across the yard to get there.

Farmbeau says it’s because it was fed on the step, instead of only at the barn.

The other cats have been fed on that step too, and none of them stayed there and froze.

One of the smallest pair of kittens, which lived in the loft, died. We thought their mother was feeding them, so Barney hasn’t fed them consistently for a couple of days. Is that why?

It’s sad, anyway.

The other kitten has been taken into the house over there.

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I have wished the boys didn’t have to spend several days a month in a hotel, though I’m glad they are able to be with their dad somehow. I’ve told myself I had no business trying to arrange a better situation; that that’s Dave’s business and I shouldn’t interfere or take the responsibility.

I want my children in a better situation during those two or three days each month, and I have a right to do what I think is best for them. If it is left to Dave, maybe things will change. But why wait? I’ve waited long enough.

Don has a sinus cold, and I don’t want him far from me. I don’t want him in a hotel in Saskatoon this weekend, I don’t want him having to travel, to get in and out of vehicles in the cold. I want him home, warm, and nursed back to health.

Maybe if I get the boys’ room cleaned and organized today, the improved feng shui will impact Don’s health immediately.

I’m half kidding. I do believe that human energy is affected by clutter and ugliness and lack of ease in our surroundings. I don’t believe that straightening it out will impact physical reality and health that fast. But it won’t hurt, and you just never know.

Perhaps my urge to purge is coming out of the desire and intention to heal and cure.

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12:44 p.m.
Closet in porch, now purged.
Email working properly, all of a sudden after two days, with no changes to files, controls, programs, or applications.
Any connection?

That's it, I'm getting down to some serious feng shui cleanup, right now. A whirlwind is about to go through this house.

xoxoetc
~ Kate ~