Monday, 3. February 2003
Clearing

Monday, Feb. 3

I am smoking the herb mullein in the house after Loverboy, who dislikes the smell of it, has asked me not to. He is not here, but soon may be, and I expect will give me shit.

Somebody giving “me” shit! How novel.

I hate it. My family might snicker and say it serves me right, it’s about time.

Heh.

My mother said, after my husband moved out, that our split was partly because he allowed me too much freedom. He should have “laid down the law once in a while.”

Why does she presume someone has the right to lay down the laws I must adhere to? I doubt I’d have stayed married to such a man anyway, or married someone like that in the first place.

I sat in the lazyboy chair and looked at the fire, and breathed slow and deep. I watched my thoughts come and go as my body relaxed:

People have behavioural patterns that impact on me but I cannot spend my energy addressing them. I cannot fix or adjust someone else’s attitudes or perceptions. I may believe they create their own problems, but my view is not appreciated. Don’t take it personally.

Waste no time on laments.

Apply the following very good advice to self:

 
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