Friday, 3. January 2003
Jumpy, Nude, and Off to the City

Are you tiring of hoarfrost photos yet?

Either I am becoming sensitive to ghosts and such, or I am getting jumpy. I mean, jumpier than usual. For nowadays I frequently find myself looking over my shoulder when I am alone in the house, or thinking I see a shadow or a movement out of the corner of my eye.

Some of this may be blamed on Loverboy. He has snuck up on me several times and scared the hell out of me. Once I was sitting here at the computer after he’d gone outside and to the other yard, and suddenly he appeared standing right behind me, and I hadn’t heard a thing. He claimed it was because I had music playing, but I know that you can’t walk down this hallway unheard without great effort. The floor squeaks.

Another time when alone in the house, I had had a bath and polished my nails and turned to open the bathroom door, only to be met by a looming figure standing there. I almost cried from relief, once I realized it was only L. This he had done on purpose. He thinks it’s funny. I think it’s mean and will erode trust.

It is not unusual for me to squawk when I’m outside and see or hear something unexpected close by me. I scare easily, and often it’s only a falling leaf and I’d look like a real ninny if anyone were around to see me gasp and jump out of harm’s way.

The other day I was here by myself and it was warm in the house as only a woodstove can make it. I’d had a bath, and decided to doff my housecoat and spend some time nude while sunlight floated in through the windows. This is something I rarely do and I felt vulnerable as the air in every room of the house touched my skin. But boy, did it feel good. And it made me aware of my body in a way that it is not typical. I noticed how straight I stood as I walked, and how supple my muscles are, and how creamy and soft my skin is.

I’m going to do it more often.

xoxo
Kate

p.s. gotta bolt, get ready to go to the city. My boys are coming home tomorrow!

 
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