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Thursday, 28. November 2002
Life as a Holiday
Kate
16:19h
Thursday, Nov.28 That’s how my life feels, lately -- like I am taking an extended holiday. Oh, not when I’m washing the goddamn dishes, of course -- but when I take time to make cinnamon buns (yesterday I did that with some of the bread dough, and they were good, for the first time in my baking experience; my baking is virtually always based on 100% whole-wheat flour, so it is not a ‘given’ that anything will be light and airy); or when I sit here writing when I ought to be washing those goddamn dishes. Oh yes, I am a bad bad girl. I am not working much at my editing job. Partly it’s because I don’t have a lot to do yet, or don’t know *what* to do. There is still a “casting about” feeling when I sit down to work at my desk. The thing is, I need to be a self-starter here, and I don’t yet feel confident that I know what writing already exists and then what needs to be there and isn’t. It’s labourious navigating the archives to read everything, and there’s so much of it that I don’t remember it all anyway. So instead of putting in 15 to 20 hours a week as I should be doing, so far this month I have put in 30 hours. I hope I am not going to have trouble disciplining myself to get my work done, when I am freelancing like this. I assume I won’t, once I know what I’m doing. But the circle: how will I know what I’m doing if I don’t stay at the desk and DO it? So yeah, there’s a little bit of procrastination going on here. xoxoxo Wanna see what our little house looks like? This was in the fall, when the outdoors was green and not white, and we were in the midst of moving my stuff in.
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