Tuesday, Oct. 19
11:26 p.m.

My tiny niece in her parents' giant bathtub.

I figure my family hasn't had a Doris type since Grandma, and maybe Jordan will only get to be four foot ten or eleven, too. Bound to happen eventually isn't it? so why not with her?

Our company has gone over to Joan's for the night and Everett is staying there too, so it is just Emil and I tonight. I've done a couple hours of work on the computer and caught up with some email and my back is starting to complain about sitting in this chair.

I guess this is just your standard "obligatory" entry! Not much to say, so saying nothing much.

xoxo
etc
Kate

email:

Monday, Oct. 18, 2004
10:09 p.m.

When my neighbour finally returned with his wife and two children from Mexico a week ago, we were ready for them. Emil had brought home decorated gift bags he'd made in art class at school, and I'd gone and bought some small novelty items I thought three-year-olds might like. To these I'd added some snacks, and they were ready to go.

Everett took the bags and knocked on their door, holding out the gift bags when the kids' dad answered it.
"Oh, that's sweet!" he said to Everett. "You didn't have to do that! Do you want to meet them?"

So Everett followed him upstairs, and was back down to report to me a few minutes later.

"They went straight for the chocolate," he said, pleased. "And they really liked those flowery necklace things you put in. And A and M want you to go up and see them now."

"Shoot," I said. "You didn't mention that I have a headache, by any chance?"

"No."

"I better go then, I don't want M to think I am stuckup."

I grabbed a chilled bottle of white wine, one of the local ones, from the fridge and followed Everett out onto the step. A and M were both out there with their twins, a boy and a girl, and I held the wine out to M and said "Welcome to your new home!"

She is a pretty dark-haired lady who speaks Spanish-accented English and is not particularly thrilled to have left her home in Aguas Calientes, Mexico. She's been feeling a bit down about it, I understand.

Karen and I chuckled a little as she told us the other day how hard it is to do without the household help she is used to; that she is not accustomed to having to do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare that she must now share with her husband, and how horrible it is to just finish housework and have to start it all over again just a short time later because it never stays done! She told us this with big eyes and genuine shock and dismay. We found it kindof cute.

She can't cook either, she says, and made her first attempt at soup on Sunday. It was a disaster, she said.

Her close proximity is a perfect opportunity to learn and practise speaking Spanish. I need to get a good book and get started, and am excited about it.

email:

Sunday, Oct. 17, 2004
10:54 p.m.

A quick update before I climb onto the couch under a wool blanket and one of Mom's homemade quilts. It's been a busy day.

Mom and Dad came over this morning and visited with us -- my cousin Heather is staying here with her beau, Lionel -- and they all went sightseeing around noon, and took Everett along. I stayed home and worked for a couple hours, and just as I was about to call it quits, Karen stopped in on her way home from working with her "lady." We ended up having a glass of wine upstairs with my neighbours, and then we both headed over to Mom and Dad's -- she to pick up her daughter, I to bring Heather and Lionel back here for supper and to spend the night again. Oh, and Everett too.

I hadn't planned ahead for having Heather and Lionel stay at my place, but they did take me up on my offer so I've given them my bedroom and am camping out on one couch while Everett is sleeping on the chaise longue so he can be in the same room with me. We all thought we'd boil during the night as the new neighbour upstairs, newly arrived from Mexico, has control of the thermostat and she is finding the Okanagan cold. Tonight I went around and virtually closed the heat registers so we ought to be more comfortable.

Since I didn't do any advance planning, I had prepared for meals that I have been wanting since arriving here, and those are the groceries I had in the fridge. So last night, when we got back here just after five, I made sweet 'n' sour tofu 'meat'balls, brown rice, and spinach salad for supper. Heather and Lionel bravely ate it and pronounced it "surprisingly good." Well, what are they gonna say?

Tonight, I fried up the leftover rice and made egg foo yung to go with it. That was a new dish to them, too, but they managed to consume it graciously and pronounce it tasty.

Tomorrow I'll go buy some meat and potatoes and make them a meal closer to what they are accustomed to.

Heather last night: "I'm going to whine to Auntie Grace: 'Do you know what Kathy made us eat???' "

***

Me last week, in the throes of the swollen eyelids and patchy skin: "Don't you notice that I am looking kinda homely these days?"

Everett: "No, you're beautiful!"

Consistently, he says this. I wonder at what age that perspective normally changes. He'll be 12 in a couple weeks.

Still, it's endearing.

email:

Saturday, Oct. 16, 2004
11:38 a.m.

My sore neck and resulting temple ache all come down to poor posture, I am convinced ... when it is not PMS time of the month.

Last night we sisters and (some of) our kids had pizza and watched a movie at Joan and Gary's. The boys and I came home about 10:30 and after they went to bed, I laid on the couch for a while and looked at the TV.

Family Guy was on. I hadn't seen it before. It was all right, but I wouldn't go out of my way to see it again. Then I caught the end of that movie with Warren Beatty in it, the one where he dies and comes back in a football player's body. Beatty is always spoken of as a heartbreaking Hollywood hunk and I've wondered why, as he is just another fella from all appearances. But last night, seeing him in his prime younger days, I could see why he would turn female (and some male) heads.

Just as back home on the farm, I notice that when I watch TV here my neck seems to go out. I really think it's the furniture -- it is not conducive to proper posture, for me.

I slept till 10 o'clock this morning. Sleeping in late most often happens when my neck is bothering me and my instinct is to sleep to get away from the discomfort. It doesn't work but I keep doing it.

Anyway, I've taken a pill now and am waiting for it to kick in, distracting myself by sitting at the computer.

I figure the antidote to the poor-posture neck thing is always to sit on the floor while watching TV. When sitting on the floor, one has no choice but to hold oneself more upright, as you have nothing to slouch against.

Joan asked me last night if I'd take a yoga class with her. I said no; I know how to do yoga, have taken classes from two instructors and don't want to take more classes anyway, I get tired of the running around when I'd rather stay home.

Well then maybe I'd teach her? Shouldn't, I said. You should learn from a qualified instructor. I'll talk to her about it again though. It is difficult to fit in evening and weekend classes when you have a busy life and a two-year-old who needs your time and attention. Surely it wouldn't hurt to teach her my own routine. Maybe it will help me get back into it myself. I brought my yoga mat out here with me, and a set of stretchy things Joan gave me, which I planned to wear for my yoga sessions.

On the drive to our rented home here, there is a bright corner filled with some of my favourite flowers -- deep carmine cosmos, bright pink cosmos -- and many other eye-enticing colours. I appreciate them each time I come up to that corner. I'd just decided that some day I'd go tell the owner how much pleasure those flowers give me, when I noticed an elderly lady out on the deck. So I stopped my van and got out.

"Is this your house?" I called out, and a white-haired man on the other side of the deck stepped forward.

"Yes. What can we do for you?"

"I wanted to tell you how much I have been enjoying your flowers out front! They are beautiful, and I am grateful for them every time I drive by."

"Oh, thank you!" they both said, and beamed. "Do you live in this area?" the gentleman asked.

"Yes; I've just moved here from Saskatchewan, and all my flowers out there are already frozen and dried up," I said.

"Do you have a family?" the husband wanted to know.

"Yes, two kids."

"And do you have an old man?" he added, laughing at his use of the slang term.

"Yes; he'll be here in a couple weeks."

"What does he do?" he inquired, leaning over the railing on the upper floor of his house. The wife, meanwhile, smiled shyly from the other side of the deck. They had been busy with brushes, perhaps were painting or staining the floor.

"He's a farmer and a general contractor."

"Well, I'd like to meet him. When he gets here, come over and visit us."

"Will do," I said, waved, and got back into my van.

***

Today we are off to Mom and Dad's, if my neck smartens up. My cousin Heather is here; she and her beau flew in from Saskatoon this morning. I will invite them to stay here with us if they like; will give them my bed and sleep on the comfy couch myself. They are staying all week.

Mom's had a lot of pain recently and has again, reluctantly, started taking her morphine tablets. I need to give her some foot treatments, which can relieve pain and promote self-healing. And I want to get over there more often. I'll take my song sheets and the taped piano accompaniment and, when we are fortunate enough to have no audience, Mom and I can sing together. We will both enjoy that, and singing, they say, helps you stay healthy. It is a cardio workout, at the very least, and good for your lungs.

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Friday, Oct. 15, 2004
3:11 p.m.

Saw these two just outside of town Sunday morning around seven as we were driving to the city.

Today I put in the last of my hours at the arena. Three hours of mopping those black rubber floors, after Karen had already done it once. She worked there last night till 3 a.m.

By the time I was coming down the home stretch, I was feeling pretty good about getting finished. I was just sweeping the final section one more time before giving it a mop, and was sweeping the dirt out through the back door, when I looked behind it and saw a man and a woman stretched out against the wall behind the door, in the corner. They were looking content enough to lounge in the sunshine, but they had two shopping carts full of blankets -- a good sign that they are among the homeless who populate Kelowna's downtown parks and public areas. Anyway, I said hello, they grinned and said hello back, and I went back inside to finish mopping.

You hear a lot about the homeless people in this city, and since it's been on the radio and in the newspapers, every time I see someone with a packsack or pushing a shopping cart downtown I wonder if they are homeless. Often it's fairly obvious, I guess.

I had meant to make a donation to buy some Thanksgiving dinners for some of them before I left for Saskatchewan last weekend, but hadn't gotten around to it.

I had stuck a twenty-dollar bill into my jeans pocket before leaving the house this morning, and I remembered that and thought these two could probably use it. So I pushed open the door again and said to them, "Need some cash?"

Those are the exact words my Grandpa Benson used to say to me All The Time. I could almost hear his voice as I repeated them today.

The man accepted the bill, said "Thanks, Luv," and I replied, "Enjoy it" and slipped back inside.

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Thurs., Oct. 14, 2004
10:20 p.m.

You're welcome, dear readers! Yes, I spared you the sight of my puffy eyes and blotchy skin this time, and you appreciated it as I knew you would.

Instead, lucky girls out there, I offer you a glimpse of my sweetheart checking the electric fence on my last night at home. See that soft sunset glow over the field? Is it not lovely? I tell you, it was a treat to be there at harvest time. I wangled out of the Thanksgiving-dinner dishes in order to go along with Scott and drive the truck so that he wouldn't have to re-walk the fenceline after he moved posts, so I felt a little guilty.

I didn't feel that guilty; after all, for dessert we'd brought three pumpkin pies and an apple pie and a gallon of vanilla ice cream, and I'd helped prepare spuds for the pot. It's not like I didn't help with anything. Although I felt like I'd cheated a bit, it was worth it.

I didn't eat the pie or ice cream, either. Heck no. Scott's sister-in-law made her should-be-famous cheesecake. I had two pieces of that instead.

***

Today I worked at my desk, then trotted off to meet the bus, send some faxes from Joan's, and join Karen to work at the arena before going to my singing class. Joan, bless her heart, offered to keep my boys and give them supper, which saved me some panic and rush. The arena gig didn't pan out so Karen and I went for a burger at Dairy Queen instead.

When I got home Scott had left a message to call. His friend Herb died last night; "took a bad turn" and that was it. He'd been in the hospital several months already and this was not unexpected, but still ... we both feel badly that we didn't manage to stop and see him on Saturday before we left town. We were running late to Grandma's for supper and didn't have time, but now it seems even more of a shame. Especially for Scott, as they've been buddies for a long time. Herb was 87 and full of fun and stories.

And now, as my eyes are trying to squeeze shut mid-sentence, I must haul my ass to bed. It seems too early. While I was on the phone with Scott, Karen left a message that she was going back down to the rink to work till midnight if need be and I could join her or not, as I pleased. I should go -- it would be safer for her, as I don't know if she's there alone or if someone else is around -- but I am too tired for some reason. Really, I think it's just my eyes. If it weren't for them I'd probably be full of piss 'n' vinegar, wouldn't I?

And I hate to leave the boys alone at this time of night, too. Not that I couldn't. My neighbours are home upstairs, they would answer an emergency call if need be.

But I can't keep my eyes open.

email:

Wed., Oct. 13, 2004
9:41 p.m.

It is too early to go to bed, even though it is exactly what my eyes probably need. The morning after flying back from Saskatchewan, I was pouring my coffee at the usual time, when my eyes are usually not very open yet, and thought Hm, something doesn't feel right here.

Alas, it was true. The little buggers have swollen again like they did in May. Today they are complemented by bumpy red patches on the lower part of my face. I've never seen those before and don't know why my body is acting up.

In May, I could understand it. But leaving Saskatchewan was not that much trauma. It was a great visit and I'd rather Scott was coming with me, but he will be here in a matter of weeks. I felt tired when I left, that's all. And have been ever since, mind you.

"You were probably more upset than you realized," Mom said.

"Possible," I replied, over the phone. She didn't sleep well last night and had to take morphine tablets today to handle pain in her kidney.

"Or maybe you had a dream that upset you, and you forgot it," she suggested.

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Monday, Oct. 11, 2004
9:22 p.m.

It was last weekend that we had a sunny day and my brother and a sister came calling. We sat out on the deck with drinks in our hands, squinting against the bright sky, soaking up the warmth. Caesars are my drink of choice these days, when available.

The boys joined us and Everett took the camera and played Peter Parker.

***

I got back to Kelowna from Saskatchewan today, and am beat. It's going to be an early night.

email:

~ Mom, my niece Jordan, baby sis Joan, and self ~

Wed., Oct. 6, 2004
9:45 p.m.

The phone call came yesterday while I was at Mom and Dad's. Mom's "number count" is down, which means that while some lymph nodes may be swollen, some tumours somewhere have shrunk a little. So she can stay on the trial-drug treatment for a while longer, to give it more of a chance to work if it's going to.

That's the best news we've had in some time, and it was enough to give us hope that maybe, just maybe, this drug is going to make a difference and maybe, just maybe, we are going to get lucky and have Mom around a lot longer.

***

I'll be picking Gord up at the airport tomorrow after my Closet and Shower Singers class. He'll drop me off at Mom and Dad's, and drive my vehicle over here to surprise the boys, who will be expecting me to walk in the door, not their dad.

My plane flies out Friday morning at seven and I'll be back Monday.

Have a happy Thanksgiving,
Kate

email:

Tues., Oct. 5, 2004
9:23 a.m.

Big trucks roll past our house every day; I assume they are working on what is to be a new road over the mountain. It would be a shortcut to Joan's, we figure.

In the meantime, it looks like a nice level place for me to walk, if my ankles can take it. Seems a bit bumpy at the moment. Not that I've gotten out there to take advantage of it. Hell no. I've been way too sedentary for several days.

Karen and I have caught up to the construction workers at the arena so have had today, yesterday, and Friday off. We don't mind, it's a needed rest.

Today she is starting a new job, four hours a day, as a companion to an 88-year-old lady who lives in a nursing home. It may be a good gig for her for the long term but right now it means we won't have much overlapping time to finish the rink job, and will end up working on our own most of the time. It will be lonely!

I babysat my niece yesterday afternoon so there were plenty of distractions, but I did manage to get some of my editing work done and plan to do the same today, as well as squeeze in a trip to Mom and Dad's.

Last night I skipped my tap-dancing class. I believe I would start enjoying it once I got somewhat competent, but in the meantime it was more stressful than fun, and I don't need more stress. One evening per week running out to a class is more than enough for me right now, and when it's a choice between the singing or the dancing, the singing is the one that gives me the most tension release and pleasure. Hands down. And it's easy to practise. I turn on the cassette player and sing along as I clean the kitchen counters, put food away, wash dishes, get out the ingredients to bake bran muffins.

I'll ask the dance instructor to let me know if she ever has a class for beginners when I can start at the same time as the rest of the beginners, not start out way behind the other students. That situation may have had something to do with my lack of satisfaction with the classes. I was by myself practising one or two new steps throughout the entire hour, while the other students practised other stuff together. Loud music, loud tapping, their tapping different than mine, plus I felt like a clumsy oaf taking forever to pick up what ought to be simple rhythm. I was self-conscious even though I joked and grinned my way through the classes, laughing at my own ineptitude.

My upstairs neighbour returned from Mexico yesterday, but without his wife and kids. "I told you they would stay in Vancouver for a couple weeks, remember?" he said to me when I remarked on their absence. I don't remember him telling me that, but he is sure he did.

***

The results of Mom's c.t. scan last week: the kidney tumour has not gotten larger, but hasn't shrunk either. Some lymph nodes are larger. This may mean her medical team may decide to stop the treatment with this experimental drug and try something else. We are waiting to hear. There was to be a phone call from the doctor yesterday, so I am going to call over there now and see if it came in.

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