5:20 p.m.

Folks, I'm not sure if I'm too busy to write, too lazy to write, or the chair I use at my computer is just too damn uncomfortable. Bear with me.

It's a late supper at Joan's tonight so Everett is making cinnamon toast for a snack to tide us over till then. We're picking their dad up at the airport in about an hour, and after tomorrow I'll be kid-free for the weekend. Whatever will I find to do with my little self? Perhaps some prince from the east will appear on the doorstep. I've got my fingers crossed.

~ Mom dozing in the fresh air ~

Monday 25 April 2005
11:05 p.m.

I'm sitting up, alternately singing with and listening to the piano playing my part for Cheek to Cheek. Learning a rhythm other than I am accustomed to (this has been my shower-song standby for years) is a challenge. But oh is the song fun to sing. I can't stand still.

We have to use our air conditioning during the day to avoid swelteration. Back home, Scott is still lighting a fire in the evening to take the chill off.

I am cranky. There's pms. I'm tired. I'm worried about Mom. What chance have I got?

Off to read Virginia Woolf's diary until my eyes give out.

xoxo
etc

(oh, the sling on mom's arm - for a pulled muscle or slight sprain. not doctor-ordered, but we thought it might help)

email:

~ Happy Birthday Karen ~

~ filled with scrolls ~

~ a way back when ~

Saturday 23 April 2005
4:08 p.m.

Spring is really, truly here, and that means shorts are out of the closet and onto my bod, and I don't sit at this computer one more moment than I actually have to.

Have been running around all day; out to the Urban Harvest warehouse to buy organic fruit and veggies, eggs and apple juice; then off to the workshop my sisters and I are taking, so we are singing there as well as with our new friend Steve, guitar-player extraordinaire; and as soon as Dad calls, the boys and I will be off to their place to visit for a while.

Life is so full lately that I haven't been writing anything, anywhere. "Make hay while the sun shines" seems like perfectly good advice for warm days like these. Next: buy gas for the lawnmower, and try my hand at running that noisy machine.

email:

11:45 pm
Wednesday 20 April 2005

There is not enough time in a day to do all I'd like, to write all I'd like, to read all I'd like.

So all you're getting today is a photo of my lovely youngest child, pissed off one school morning because his big brother had neglected to wake him up early enough. He'd gone to bed with wet hair the night before, thus the fancy do.

Mom's doing fine. She's been better, but she's been far worse. She's in good spirits and able to be up and visit, able to boss us all around, that's a good sign.

~ Little Sweetheart ~

Just a few of the people in and out of here over the past few days. Not all, by any means.

~ Mom and Dad's friend visiting from Alberta ~

~ my landlord, coming over for a jam ~

~ bro-in-law the Scottie boy ~

~ Everett and his auntie comparing double joints ~

~ Karen grossed out by the double joints ~

~ bracelet, gift from Stacia last year ~

Friday 15 April 2005
10:12 a.m.

Running ... that's what it seems I am doing a lot of, these days. To the school in the morning and again in the afternoon. To Mom and Dad's, to the grocery store, to the Rotary Centre of the Arts where Everett will start 12 weeks of one-hour drama workshops tomorrow afternoon.

Yesterday I went shopping for flannel for the back and border of my quilt. Holy Hannah, the prices! For that kind of coin, I'll wait till I find fabric I fall in love with. That means at least another trip to a fabric store.

And I hate those fabric stores already. Oh, it's a joy to walk around and look at all the beautiful cloth ... what an astounding variety ... but do they have enough staff to help you before you've stood there 15 minutes waiting? Oh no.

Yesterday I was so hungry by the time I left Fanny's Fabrics that I zipped across the parking lot to the Dairy Queen for a burger. I stood at the counter in front of two workers who were taking an order for an ice cream cake, and then a customer came in behind me and walked over to stand in front of the till. One of the workers went over to take his order rather than asking for mine or saying "This lady was here first," so I just turned and walked out. Man, the quality of service sucks. My little bit of business can go elsewhere. I prefer to stay hungry a while longer.

Lately I'm making more effort to make my dollars count. I avoid Wal-Mart as much as possible, for instance. Why buy from an American company when I can go down the road and buy from Zellers, a Canadian company? Wal-Mart is all the rage across the country now because it sells everything and has low prices. That tempts me as much as the next person. But it means the profits are going out of the country, and supporting a company that steamrolls over its employees and plays dirty to keep them from unionizing. Why should I give them my dollars, even if it means I'll save a few in the long run? There are more than enough consumers who don't give a shit what these big companies do, as long as they themselves don't have to spend an extra cent. And I completely understand that way of thinking, and slip into it myself when I'm feeling poor and powerless.

I'm not powerless though, and neither would we be as a society if we'd get our shit together enough to spend our money to profit businesses that treat their employees right and, every bit as importantly, businesses that treat the environment right.

This would be a much different world if we all realized how our spending habits affect the way business is done. We think we are saving ourselves a few bucks while the big picture is what it is, in spite of us.

We buy honey from the store, honey that comes from Toronto, when there are local honey-producers right here in Kelowna. From the big grocery stores we buy beef imported from New Zealand, while here in Canada our own farmers are struggling and going under because they can't sell their animals. It sickens me, and it's all down to the majority of consumers not thinking much about what they are buying, beyond price.

Oh I know! Price matters! A few dollars here and there add up, over a year! I can't argue that. There are many who have no choice, who must buy the cheapest they can get in order to feed their families and pay their bills. I should be one of those — my annual income puts me under the poverty line — and yet I manage to practise ethical consumerism at least some of the time. It is a luxury I can't really afford either. But the more I do it — each little step I take towards buying locally, buying organic — makes me feel I am doing my part. It's not much, but it's my part, and I'm doing it the best I can.

email:

 

~ Joan's quilt ~

Thursday 14 April 2005
9:31 a.m.

The purpose of having Everett do the "five good things" journalling is to get him in the habit of noticing the happy events and pleasant details in his life. He tends to focus on tiny miseries and I hope to break him of this habit while I still have influence. To him I am still Mother Most Beautiful, Mother Most Wise, so might as well take advantage of it while it lasts.

Here is his list for yesterday, creative spelling and all:

1. enoyed mom
2. found out what the mean, the median, the mode, and the range were in math class
3. Tuesday is the last day for Active Living class
4. found out cool facts like:
— dragonfly's lifespan - 24 hours
— tigers skin is also striped
— ostriches eye is bigger than its brain
— goldfish have a memory of only 3 seconds
5. brang mom flowers

The flowers are spring's first dandelions, which I stuck in a slim crystal vase and placed on the kitchen table. He watched them closely and reported on their amazing activities last night and again this morning. Their stems are bubbling! Are they growing roots? Should he plant them in some soil?

This morning before school he turned on the special features function of The Cat's Meow DVD I rented on the weekend, and watched an old movie of Charlie Chaplin's. It must have been quite entertaining because from my bedroom I could hear him giggling and squealing with glee at Charlie's antics. I had tried to watch it with him last night before he went to bed but found it entirely uninteresting.

Wednesday 13 April 2005
9:20 a.m.

At Mom’s yesterday afternoon, the lady who comes to do therapeutic touch said that at the cancer clinic they are talking about Mom because they are amazed at how “remarkably” she is doing.

“Why do you think you are doing so well?” she asked. Here we are, the family, thinking Mom has had a hell of a rough time, when in comparison to others with cancer as advanced as hers, she is sailing through.

“I don’t know,” Mom said. “I guess God is looking after me, as he always has.”

“What do you think the reason is, Kathy?” the lady said, turning her head to look at me.

“Maybe all the prayers and healing visualizations really do make a difference,” I proposed.

“There have been studies showing that sick people who are prayed for do better than those who aren’t,” she told us. “So maybe that is it. Or maybe,” she added, “it has something to do with the loving cocoon of family and friends around you, Grace.”

“I can believe that,” Mom said. “I am certainly well looked after by all the angels in my life. I’ve been very blessed, with my husband and kids, and I have good friends.”

“You know, many people I visit do not have that care and support,” the lady said. “They go through this alone.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” Mom said, hardly believing anyone could be in such dire straits.

“But true.”

***

Everett’s list of five good things after coming home with a headache yesterday, thus some delay:

1. saw a deer on the way to school
2. learned what spontaneous combustion is
3. ready to paint on my art project
4. finished my book called Monster Blood
5. weren’t many dishes tonight