~ Grandma's back door ~
~Emil's crutches hooked on the railing ~

Monday 22 August 2005
8:37 a.m.

Another weekend over with, a new week begun. I will be playing catch-up with my work in the early part of it, as I didn't accomplish much last week. The days are too short to do everything I want to. Organizing myself so as to fit it all in is the next step; then to make myself stick to any kind of scheduled routine ... well, if I ever manage that, it would be a miracle. Why do I even dream of it?

Last night's sleep was fitful because I had been searching out beef jerky recipes with a view to marketing the farm's meat product in a different way. Making beef jerky is a time-consuming, labour-intensive job; selling it would take a day out of my week. Already I don't seem to manage my time well enough to do all that is important to me; and here I am, thinking of adding another project to the mix. When I don't like handling raw meat at the best of times, to start with!

What was I thinking? It's simple; I wanted to help relieve some of the stress around here. But in considering it, I must've added to my own. I fell asleep after reading numerous recipes with great interest, picking up preparation tips. But during the night I kept waking up, feeling pressured and burdened by the idea of it. That's me, Idea Girl. It's a pretty good idea I had, maybe, but the doing of it would mean setting aside other activities that would give me more satisfaction and have too long been set aside already. My plan was to spend the summer taking it kind of easy, except for my part-time work, and then in September when the boys go back to school, to get at a couple things I have been putting off for several years. Already I can't figure out how I will find time for them all. Well, two or three projects I want to spend some time with.

Priorities being what they are, this means I am letting go of some of my internet-related activities. Have already begun the purge of certain habits. Gone for a week or two already, they are not yet missed and perhaps won't be. I've decided not to pick up my volunteer involvement in the community this fall, either, so that I can move ahead with my personal projects. The volunteer work was not very time-consuming, but it was one more straw that could be removed from my back, and so for now it has been.

And now ... now it's time to prepare my desk for work.