Saturday 9 July 2005
11:32 a.m.

Well, that's done with. Nothing left but the cryin'!

Actually, the funeral wasn't tough at all (except on my vanity, because of the ugly cold sore I could not forget about, greeting everyone before I could say a word). No, aside from the churchy part of the service, which is meaningless to me -- the scripture, the hymns -- it was reasonably enjoyable. Bev's eulogy filled with memories of Mom was a pleasure to listen to, and then to see all the people who were there and to think that they came because they cared about Mom or about those of us who remain ... that was nice.

This is the tiny little church in our home town, and after about an hour there we went to the tiny town hall and were served sandwiches, coffee, and dainties by "the ladies." More hugs, more handshakes ... my favourite comment came from a man who used to be a neighbour of Mom and Dad's on the farm. He kindly said "You have lost the best of mothers." I agreed.

My partner-in-crime from high school drove many hours, as others did, to be there. It was wonderful to spend time with her later that night and again in the morning. Thank goodness for longtime friends. They have a way of making one feel as if things are not so bad, that some of the old underpinnings of one's life are still there.

She and her baby sister, who is also like a little sister to me because Kim and I tortured her as much as we did my younger siblings, sent this beautiful vase of peach roses that are now on my kitchen table reminding me every day of the beauty life still offers.

I was fortunate enough to be able to read the eulogy in private several days before it was delivered at the church. One of my aunt Reta's memories of Mom was of being told of a dream Mom had not long before she died. In the dream, she had had a visit with God. They talked about the journey she was taking and what she would do afterward, in heaven. Mom said she had always wanted to be a dancer, and God replied "Well, Mrs. Johnson, your body is a little too round and your legs a bit too short to be a dancer. Perhaps there is something else you would like to do."

Reading about this dream was the deepest comfort and relief to me. Mom had a visit with God before she left us! I cried and laughed at the same time as I read; thank goodness I didn't hear it in church for the first time.