~ Kelowna Centennial Festivities begin this weekend ~
~ that is a wine-bottle balloon you see there ~

10:17 p.m.

We had Mom awake for several hours today. I gave her what she called a "bed bath" and we had a little visit while I did so, with an intimate talk and a few tears. She has been so courageous through this, but she doesn't realize it. I told her so.

Dad phoned this evening and said she has taken a turn for the worse; that a pain below her left rib had become unbearable, the methodone wasn't touching it, and she asked for the drug that has been putting her to sleep for the past several days. Better that than the pain.

Her pain management doctor called me this evening and in the course of our conversation said that Mom is a very "tough" lady and that Dad has been "amazing" through this ... "and for a long time, too."

They don't see themselves that way. They think they are just doing what needs to be done in a shitty situation and have no way of comparing themselves to anyone else. Mom doesn't imagine that her attitude is out of the ordinary; Dad doesn't imagine that many husbands might not be able to do what he has done, in taking care of Mom as he does. The drugs alone, that he is handling, are mindboggling.

I'd said to her today, "You know, if Dad has any trouble managing, you can always come and stay at my place."

"Ha! He wouldn't let me out of his sight!" she told me.

Those two are so tight. He'd have to come and stay too. And Mom loves to be in her own home; she wouldn't want to be somewhere else.

Alas, I have an appointment to go see the local hospice facilities tomorrow; to find out what they're like, what their services are, so I can report to Mom and Dad. We don't want to think we're nearing that point, and maybe we aren't, but as Mom said tearfully today, "The time is going to come."

Aunt Reta is flying in from Phoenix on Sunday, several weeks earlier than she planned. When Mom heard that, she cried. With happiness, of course. It's "good news for a change," she told me.

For Dad, it's relief. Not only is Reta Mom's sister and they're close, but she is a nurse and will stay right there with them. She will be a huge help to Dad who, although we girls do what we can, is the one who is always there and dealing with everything on his own, making the decisions that need to be made when Mom hasn't been able. Reta's presence will be a different kind of support for both of them.