~ what a plough wind can do. keep in mind that these
bins are not made of tin foil, but heavy steel ~

9:29 a.m.

Up since 7:30, at the computer but for going to the table to eat breakfast after Scott made it. He’s gone shingling and Everett has just come in, after walking to the bus with Emil at 8 o’clock, to tell me he’s found the newborn kittens.

It was yesterday that he came to me to say that Blackie must have given birth because she is now skinny, and I told him to follow her around until she went back to her litter. So he has come in quite excited. There are four — two look like Skipper, his favoured first kitten who is now the young studly about the barnyard — and he says “At first I thought Blackie had a mouse collection, they are so small!”

The kittens are in a bale house up in the barn loft, and I have been asked not to tell anyone because Everett is worried the smaller kids might be too rough with them. He is still talking about how they are sucking, snuggled up right next to their mom, and so on and so forth. He’ll be taking me out to have a look later today.

I started running my bath a few minutes ago but stopped the water in order to come here and write. You’d think I had something pressing to say. I’ve been reading Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo, and she talks about using your writing for personal growth. Writing as I do, however, may not be what she has in mind.

Writing that helps us work out emotional issues we have is writing that challenges the writer not only to describe painful events and the resulting feelings explicitly, but to write about them in some sort of creative way. The kind of writing I do describes situations and my current responses, but is not a challenge -- except maybe for the struggle to articulate clearly, sometimes. But I am not creative about it, I just write it down, plain and simple. Just get it out. Just record.

Well, DeSalvo is saying a lot of stuff. First it was writing about traumatic events of one’s past, now it is characters and plot and imagery, goal setting and planning. Good stuff, but making me realize that I don’t challenge myself with my writing. I just let it spill onto the page, pretty much. You can actually see this in my diary handwriting, if you look. It usually has an even, smooth flow, with virtually no crossouts or scribbles, as if I am extremely clear-minded and sure of myself and steamrolling right over the paper, page after page in one sitting.

Hesitation is rare, though I do sometimes have to stop and think about how to write something down true to my memory. I have to re-remember it in mental film before continuing.

Now back to that warm enamel bed.