10:30 a.m.

It is very dark out there. I just took a walk to the garden to see if I’d created a lake last night when I absent-mindedly left the water running from 8 p.m. to midnight. It doesn’t look too bad though; no damage done. That thing in the picture is the weeding thing you can push between the rows. I'd never seen one before.

But there is thunder and a big black cloud, so I strolled around the yard a bit and have come back in.

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I talk too much. I’m really starting to think that. Inevitably someone misunderstands what I have said. It’s not that someone has understood and disagreed — that’s not what I’m talking about here; it’s because I have apparently miscommunicated. Self-confidence has come across as arrogance, disillusionment has come across as closedmindedness ... it’s always something.

I’m tired of explaining myself.
You’d think I’d be so much better at it, by now, than I am.
I feel like giving up. Gotta face it: no one is ever understood 100% all the time. Gotta accept that and let it go.

11:05 a.m.

Finally, some rain. I’m soaked. When you’ve lacked rain, as we have this spring, who could resist going out and walking around in it? I caught rain in two galvanized buckets under the roof’s waterspout, poured the liquid gold into my two watering cans, and went around the house watering the flowerbeds under the eavestroughs, where the water does not seem to go.

We need it to rain all day, and maybe tomorrow too.